“We’ll protect you from China,” says government struggling to get ADF into Aged Care

A government that hasn’t been able to effectively mobilise troops to help elderly Australians get in and out of bed reckons it can handle a fight with the second largest military in the world.

Defence Minister Peter Dutton, whose department has so far only managed to place 129 out of a promised 1700 defence force personnel into Aged Care facilities, says only the Coalition can defend Australia from the rising threat from China.



“If China attacks us – and they will – we’ll have thirty to forty soldiers ready and waiting to defend us, provided of course we’ve been given three weeks’ notice and the relevant paperwork has been filled out,” Mr Dutton said.

Dutton explained that the government would have a simple system in place for towns invaded by China to seek military assistance. “If your town or suburb is under attack you’ll need to fill out a form on a website that hasn’t been launched yet and you’ll then be placed in a queue for support. We’ve spent $40 million on building this website which shows how prepared we are”.

He said that if China decides to invade they won’t know what has hit them. “It could be a bed pan to the back of the head, it could be something else. I don’t share operational details”.

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