Christ, did I wear that? A man explains why he looked such a twat in the 80s and 90s
HI, I’m Nathan Muir. I’m a normally dressed middle-aged man now. But back in the 80s and 90s I looked like a colossal knobhead due to my fashion choices. Here are some of them:
Bucket hats and bandanas
On the rare occasions when I chose to cover my 90s curtain haircut, I’d wear a bucket hat like Reni out of the Stone Roses. When my neck went stiff from tipping my head back to see where I was going, I’d switch to a fresh-looking bandana, like Axl Rose. I thought I was cool. Jesus.
Combat pants and baggy jeans
I desperately wanted to stand out from the crowd, so wearing camouflage combat pants wasn’t the greatest choice. Before that my baggy ‘Madchester’ jeans were even worse as they got caught under my trainers and hems covered in all sort of filth and dogshit isn’t a good look.
Logo t-shirts and sweatshirts
Nothing says 80s like a baggy ‘Frankie says relax’ or ‘Choose life’ t-shirt. Or a ‘Gold’s Gym’ vest under a ‘Pineapple Dance Studio’ sweatshirt. I rocked them all, and if you didn’t like it a ‘No Problemo’ sweatshirt was my withering response.
Dungarees
My unappreciated workhorse of 80s and 90s fashion, and only one pair ever needed. Both straps up for the 80s Dexys hobo look, then one strap hanging down a decade later for the Will Smith fresh flattop vibe. Still in vogue now, but mainly for painting and decorating gigs.
Track suits/shell suits
No self-respecting homeboy like me would be seen in the 80s without a two-piece, highly-flammable tracksuit, Adidas sneakers without laces, and NYC cap turned backwards. Or I could slip into a pastel shellsuit and effortlessly switch from ‘Run DMC’ to ‘scally off Brookside’.
The ‘Canadian tuxedo’
One 80s and 90s outfit that never suffered rejection from urban catwalks is the Canadian tuxedo, or double denim shirt and jeans. My kids keep asking to look at old photos of me, but I think it’s because they like laughing until they almost wet themselves.
read on at © The Daily Mash
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