Increasingly Isolated Putin Tries Joining Adult Kickball League

MOSCOW—In an effort to strengthen ties with outside groups two years into Russia’s widely condemned invasion of Ukraine, an increasingly isolated Vladimir Putin confirmed Wednesday that he had tried joining an adult kickball league. “I found this intramural league that plays in central Moscow, and kickball might be a really fun way to get out there and meet new people, which I could really use right now with all the stuff that’s going on in my life geopolitically,” said the five-term Russian president, explaining that in addition to the opportunity to find friends and confidants after having become an international pariah, he hoped the regular practices and game schedule would provide structure and routine to an existence he acknowledged was “kind of rudderless” lately. “Maybe it sounds silly, but it’s nice to have a place where I feel like I belong at a time when it seems as if the whole world has turned against me. They go to craft breweries after every game to hang out, which is cool. There’s even a guy on the team who makes his own sauerkraut.” At press time, Putin had reportedly quit the kickball league in frustration after a lonely President Joe Biden also joined.