Why it’s so hard to get a coffee in Brisbane after 3pm

“All the police, all the paramedics, all the fireys know we’re always open. Ambos will leave the hospital at 3am and they’ll come straight here.”

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By contrast, the manager at one popular Kedron cafe says they close their cappuccino machine at 2.30pm because of a lack of demand.

“It’s so expensive for us to stay open for another hour, especially on the weekends when the penalty rates are so high. I’m pretty sure that this is one of the reasons why most cafes try to call it as early as possible.”

Late hours mean Death Before Decaf goes through more than 200 kilograms of coffee every week – 40kg being standard for cafes. They also result in some unusual clientele.

“We had a customer turn up with a goat wearing a baseball cap,” Carl says. “Around midnight in the middle of summer three guys walked in wearing only Speedos and gave me a handful of warm change …

“We’ve had people try and pick fights with plain-clothes detectives not knowing they’re actually police. They find out the hard way.”

The cafe’s heavy-metal aesthetic means it’s sometimes mistaken for a tattoo parlour. The counter is decorated with skateboard art and rock ‘n’ roll backstage passes, while a cheery neon sign on the back wall invites people to “F— off” once they’ve bought their coffee. (There are no tables.)

“Early on we had two Chesterfield lounges, but that just attracted guys who’d sit and talk about cars for hours. Now we literally chase people away after 9,” Carl says.

And in case you’re wondering – no, they don’t serve decaf.

Where to get coffee in Brisbane after 3pm

Archer Coffee and Bagels, Chermside and North Lakes
Isaac Ryan and William Jamson’s cafes in these two Westfields stay open until 4pm, grinding, tamping and pumping out the good stuff. In addition to bagels, they do a mean croissant.

Bellissimo, Bulimba, Coorparoo and Fortitude Valley
Mark Bignell and Michael Koo own Bellissimo, Australia’s “highest-awarded coffee roaster” brewing seven days until 6pm (Bulimba and the Valley) and 4pm (Coorparoo). A fourth cafe at the Domestic Airport is on the way.

DNA Espresso at Hawthorne Garage, Hawthorne
This fancy grocery store and deli with the red Chevy parked outside has a cafe that’s open daily 6am to 5pm. Sample the Highside blend from Fonzie Abbott at an al fresco table. Hawthorne Garage stocks a wide range of fresh produce, fancy pantry items, deli proudcts, sandwiches and flowers.

Death Before Decaf, New Farm
Famous for never closing, Death Before Decaf is where you can get coffee 24/7, no questions asked. Order a coffee with “Wanky Milk” if you like (i.e. oat, soy, almond or coconut) and a cupcake, cookie or toastie when peckish, but don’t ask for decaf – and don’t plan to linger.

Emme, Fortitude Valley
Thomas Tze Lian’s all-day diner in James Street Market specialises in Mediterranean and Middle-Eastern wood-fired cooking. It also does all-day coffee from its Coffee Kiosk, open 6.30am to 4.30pm daily.

Expedition Coffee Co, Brisbane
Owned by the Death Before Decaf crew, these two cafes are among the surprisingly slim pickings for good coffee in the city after 3pm from Monday to Friday. The 111 George Street store is open 5am to 7pm, and 123 Albert Street, 6am to 4pm.

Foster & Black, eight locations across Brisbane and Gold Coast
Andrew Foster and Harrison Black’s Foster & Black is in shopping centres in the CBD, Carindale, Chermside, Indooroopilly and Mount Gravatt, as well as Coomera, Robina and Pacific Fair. All serve coffee until closing time, which is 5pm, 5.30pm or later (except at a ninth Fortitude Valley store, which closes early).

Mourning Roast, Stones Corner
This new cafe is open daily 4am to 11pm, and coffee is on the menu the whole time. The alt-gothic aesthetic extends to its bean supplier – Blackmass Coffee Roasters.

Morning After, West End
Yianni Passaris’ much-loved West End cafe actually closes at 3pm but keeps serving its 5 Senses coffee until 3.30pm daily. Arrive earlier and you can experience a mod Australian-Asian fusion brekky or lunch in an airy, beautifully designed space.

Public, Brisbane
St Ali coffee is on the menu at this cafe in the first-floor lobby of the Heritage Lanes building, and it stays open until 3.30pm Monday to Thursday (sorry, on Fridays it takes an early mark at 2.30pm). And yes, the barista remains on duty until the (deliciously) bitter end.

Did we forget one? Let us know at nick.dent@nine.com.au.