The Feminist Mafia Group “The Cliterati” Are Planning A Project 2029

Photo by Jonathan Borba via Pexels

The secretive, feminist mafia The Cliterati are fighting back against Project 2025’s sexist views on society and their fundamentalist Christian dictates with radical policy proposals of their own:

  • The Bible is very clear that men must not be allowed to waste their seed, so therefore masturbation should be highly criminalized with a minimum punishment of a year in jail.
  • Men must start paying child support as soon as conception occurs, and the rate must be no less than 50% of their income in accordance with masculine responsibility as the head of the family, and in accordance with Christian family values.
  • Viagra and other erectile dysfunction pills are henceforth banned because they go against God’s grand, master plan. Maybe men should thank God for blessing them with tiny, flaccid penises, and honor God’s intentions for their erectile dysfunction.
  • Men must wear jockstraps and protective cups at all times to protect their sperm. Any infertile men will be investigated and prosecuted if gonadal negligence has been suspected.
  • Men must start wearing baggy robes over their clothes to school as soon as they reach puberty to cover any visible signs of spontaneous erections they might get. Outlines of erections in their pants will be distracting for the girls in class, and boys will be sent home to change if they do not cover themselves in several layers.
  • Men must get a vasectomy at the time of their wife’s choosing. Any effort to reverse the vasectomy must be consented to by his wife with written approval presented to doctors. Unmarried men cannot get vasectomies because they might regret someday not having kids. God intended them to be baby makers.
  • Unmarried men must have written permission from their mothers to leave the house unaccompanied, or they’ll be suspected of prostitution. Without written permission, they must be accompanied by a female relative, either a sister or cousin.Courts and judges will no longer consider men’s testimony to carry the same evidentiary weight as women’s testimony on account of how often men get carried away by their emotional instability.
  • Women can legally shoot or abuse their husbands non-fatally for the purpose of correcting their behavior.
  • Honor-killing of unfaithful husbands will get a more lenient prison sentence than regular husband murders.
  • Women cannot be prosecuted for engaging in pegging of unconscious men if alcohol was involved because those men should have known better than to put themselves in that position. Also, if the victimized men were wearing any type of revealing clothing, they were clearly asked to be pegged.
  • Divorcing men is legally permitted and culturally acceptable if they do not return the favor of orgasm.
  • No more toplessness rights for men.
  • Married men must get a written signature from their wife in order to take out any bank loans.
  • Women will get immunity for any violence they perpetrate after men catcalling them on the street in the name of self-defense.
  • Woman will be allowed to tell doctors to suture a “wife stitch” during their husbands’ anal surgeries to tighten the butthole to enhance sexual pleasure for wives during sexual pegging. 🥃

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