Secret Service Agents Say Trump Is A “Bigger Diva Than Last Time”

April 12, 2025 journo

Official White House photo (cropped) by Joyce N. Boghosian | via Flickr.com Public Domain CC 1.0

A leaked stash of Secret Service memos is revealing secrets about protecting Donald Trump, and the memos variously describe Trump as “needy,” “fussy,” “whiny,” “high-maintenance,” “emotionally volatile,” “morally destitute,” “functionally illiterate,” “needlessly cruel to his underlings,” and “foul-smelling like a garbage bag full of roast beef sandwiches.”

The memos also revealed the following details about Trump’s life behind the scenes:

Trump never once rode in a car with Melania or Barron because Melania forbid it.
The rumors about his throwing burgers against the walls are true.
The Secret Service had to start offering bonuses to drivers of the presidential limousine because Trump smelled so bad. The agents quietly went on strike several times in his first term refusing to drive him without extra “stench pay.” It made Trump furious because the strike made him miss a few days of golf, and he had to stay inside and suffer through the boredom of actually reading his presidential briefings.
While being driven to campaign events, Trump would regularly complain to agents about his supporters’ lackluster “star power,” and accuse Hollywood of “rigging hot people against him” by brainwashing most movie stars and models to hate him. One conversation recorded in a voice memo text captured Trump saying, “The MAGA people are all missing teeth, and ugly. Yuck. And even the broads at Mar-a-Lago are going way too far with the plastic surgery. I wish I could get some real hot people to come to my rallies, but I can barely afford all the ‘Blacks for Trump’ people I bring!”
Trump regularly tries to choke out his Secret Service drivers when they refuse to stop at the McDonald’s drive-through citing the security risks of sitting still in line and getting trapped by other cars for five or more minutes.
The floor mats in the back seats of the presidential limousine have to be replaced monthly because of how much fried chicken Trump eats coating the fabric with grease.
Trump used to once a month go on a drive with Kevin McCarthy 45-minutes into the middle of nowhere in Virginia farm country, and leave him there to walk back to D.C.
Trump often farts, and then blames the driver.
The cloth seats of the vehicles Trump rides are regularly stained with orange foundation makeup and blue Adderall dust. Sometimes Trump throws burgers he brings for snacks against the windshield when he hears bad news. The Secret Service finds this an incredibly reckless, potentially catastrophic security risk given that they have to stop the vehicle and wipe off the smeared ketchup.
On long drives, Trump sleeps and leaves orange stains on the seats and seat belt strap.
Following every meeting with an Asian diplomat or leader, Trump talks with an exaggerated Asian accent for fifteen minutes.
Every Secret Service agent has heard Trump recommend they spend their next vacation in Moscow because “the Russian girls are into some crazy stuff.”
During international events and global summits, Trump often “accidentally” walks into the women’s bathrooms and pretends he didn’t notice the signs.
Trump once ordered a Secret Service agent to run over his son Eric after Eric revealed he had given a children’s cancer charity a 1% discount for booking consecutive fundraisers at a Trump property.
Trump repeatedly asked Secret Service agents in the week leading up to January 6th if, hypothetically, it would be possible to “pull a Princess Diana” on Vice President Mike Pence.
95% of Secret Service agents’ COVID infections in 2020 were directly linked to Trump demanding no one around him wear a mask, and half of them were directly or indirectly related to the infamous car ride he took while staying at the hospital with a nearly fatal COVID infection so he could pretend he wasn’t about to die.
After every motorcade ride for four years straight, Trump told his drivers “I’d tip you but I don’t have any cash, so I promise I’ll tip you big on the next one.” The Secret Service also heard him say that to every Mar-a-Lago employee who served him, his golf caddies, and various hotel staff members when staying in foreign countries.
When playing golf, Trump makes every Secret Service agent carry three of his golf balls in their pockets for him to cheat with.
The Secret Service had to triple its golf cart fleet and pay for storage space in foreign countries to store them because Trump refuses to walk anywhere, even when attending ceremonial events outside with other leaders, including female leaders wearing heels.
The Secret Service has to regularly invent excuses for why women Trump invited to ride alone in a car with him couldn’t in order to save the government millions in under-the-table hush money payouts.
A few times when Trump was napping on long car rides, Secret Service agents could tell from Trump mumbling in his sleep that he was having a sex dream about Nancy Pelosi or Angela Merkel.
Trump has asked several Secret Service agents if they could “make Don Jr. disappear.”
Trump regularly makes long phone calls where he listens a lot, and then says things like, “NATO is ripping us off, you’re right,” “Ukraine is ripping us off, you’re right,” and “the US should tell Poland, the Baltic states, South Korea, Japan, and the European Union to fuck off, you’re right,” and then announce after he hung up, “That wasn’t Putin I was talking to by the way, it was — uh — Barron, yeah, Barron was asking me questions for his homework.”
Trump demands the “Beast” limousine be fully stocked at all times with an 18-pack of Diet Coke, a bottle of Adderall, an emergency bottle of ketchup, and a stack of blank non-disclosure agreements.
Trump occasionally makes suggestive comments to agents like, “You know, in Russia and North Korea, their security agencies will push the leader’s political enemies out of windows…”
Trump often tells generals and other military officials they should watch more WWII movies about the Nazis to understand the military vibe he wants to see.
Trump once asked the head of the Secret Service, “Why do we call you the SS if you won’t do any of the stuff Hitler’s SS did?” 🥃

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