Leaders Of 139 Countries Have Called Trump A “Buffoon”

I’m trying to be the most relentless satirist of Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and the MAGA movement on the Internet, so if you like my graffiti news comedy here’s a 50% discount on paid subscriptions to help support me, for just $2.50 a month, write full-time and tirelessly mock Trump’s fascism with comedy.
- Trump is reportedly livid over how many officials in foreign countries are calling him “unstable” and “buffoonish.”
- 150 million Americans in the liberal, Woke hive mind are ready to party today after Tesla releases its earnings report revealing the catastrophic damage Elon Musk has done to the company.
- JD Vance reportedly stepped on the Pope’s oxygen tube during their visit.
- Foreign countries are reportedly telling US trade officials they refuse to negotiate any new trade deals with Donald Trump until he reads a book on economics.
- Trump has reportedly canceled all meetings with JD Vance because Pope Francis died after Vance was the last person seen with him alive.
- Following news that the White House is looking for a new defense secretary to replace Pete Hegseth, bars across Washington D.C. are preparing for Hegseth’s upcoming bender.
- Children at the White House Easter egg roll event on Monday were disappointed because Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth didn’t honor his promise to show them secret war plans after the media started asking him questions about his loose group chatting.
- The White House’s top picks to replace Pete Hegseth are reportedly Jesse Watters, Brian Kilmeade, and Jeanine Pirro.
- Trump is reportedly pissed because his Ukraine negotiations are going nowhere, and now he won’t get a photo-op with Putin.
- JD Vance fumbled the Pope even worse than he fumbled that football trophy.
- A televangelist in Wyoming is accusing Instagram of being satanic because his “for you” page shows only buff, shirtless men.
- Evangelical leaders are reportedly wondering why Trump isn’t even trying to pretend he and Melania are still married anymore.
- MAGA fans are turning on Trump for being a pussy in claiming the United States of America can’t make El Salvador give them back an unconstitutionally deported resident.
- EXCLUSIVE: I, Dash MacIntyre, am running for president in 2028 on a single issue platform of deporting Trump, Elon Musk, and Stephen Miller to a prison in Antarctica, and if it turns out after they’re legal citizens it’ll be my bad, but also what can you do about it — they’re in Antarctica!
- Christmas is canceled this year because of the tariffs and the trade war against China.
- JD Vance reportedly gave the Pope’s couch a very nasty case of the furniture STD “sofarrhea.”
- A new poll found that 55% of Catholics worldwide would approve of the Vatican electing Stephen Colbert as Pope.
- REAL NEWS: Trump is somehow wrecking everything America exports while pissing off every country that sells stuff for us to import, and causing capital flight and lost confidence in US security, and wrecking America’s spectacular soft-power, cultural hegemony, all at once.
- Pope Francis had the worst last day on Earth of any Pope in history: having to meet and make small talk with JD Vance.
- A grocery store in D.C. has added a “Trump Tariff” surcharge at the bottom of every receipt with a picture of Trump as a monkey throwing his own feces.
- Fox News is now calling potatoes “freedom eggs” following the trend this Easter of dying and painting potatoes because Trump has made real eggs unaffordable.
- Police are calling for a dig for bodies in JD Vance’s backyard because there’s no way his FIRST murder was the Pope. 🥃
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