Nancy Pelosi’s Greatest Insult For Donald Trump

March 17, 2025 journo

Official White House photo by D. Myles Cullen | via Flickr.com Public Domain CC 1.0

2019’s “Burn of the Year” was her making fun of him for whining about “presidential harassment” after he got impeached (the first time).

The transcription is of Pelosi’s end of the call only due to Trump’s mob-like tendency to never keep any records:

“Mr. President, I’m very sorry to hear you were impeached, that sounds just awful. However, Donald, if we’re being honest with ourselves, you always could have removed yourself from the situation. If you thought there was any risk you were about to be impeached, frankly, you should have resigned, and left office at the first moment you started feeling harassed. By staying put, and not changing your impeachable behavior, you were leading all those Congress members on.”

Here the audio picks up Trump screaming through the phone, though indecipherably. After a moment, Pelosi continues:

“I’m not happy that members of Congress treat presidents the way they do, but, unfortunately, that’s the world we live in. Some Congressional members can’t control themselves when they see a vulnerable president to prey on. And you know what impression you can make on some aggressive senators when you wear so much orange makeup. If you doll yourself up like that every day, it’s only natural they’re going to think you’re asking for it.”

Indecipherable Trump yelling resumes before Pelosi cut him off:

“Donald, Donald — everyone knows that members of Congress can misinterpret presidents’ intentions based on how they look. And the fact is that every day you paint your whole face like a clownish tart, you spend hours on your hair, you shape your body the way you do while wearing those clothes sized the way they are… You are looking for attention, and you know it.”

Indecipherable Trump yelling again, and Pelosi waits until he finishes:

“Donald, can I ask if you were snorting any Adderall that night? Or huffing your Sharpie markers? If you did anything to impair your judgment, you have only yourself to blame for letting your guard down. And maybe the party you went to was a bad influence on you. If you’re in a party where many people are breaking the law, it’s on you for keeping yourself in that bad environment. Were you alone when it happened? A president should never go out alone, and let himself get cornered into an impeachment.”

Another brief interruption of Trump yelling halts Pelosi’s extended allegory before she continues one last time:

“Did you keep any eye on your quid pro quo? Always keep an eye on your quid pro quo, Donald. Never leave your quid pro quo unattended because, the next thing you’ll know, you’re waking up in a Congressional chamber you don’t recognize, and you’re getting impeached. And you’ve come to the authorities now, me — the Speaker of the House — and I’m writing down your report, but, I’m sorry, Donald, there’s just nothing I can do for you. It’s a ‘he-said-she-said’ situation. You’ll just have to live with the stain of impeachment forever on your Christian honor, slowly learn to forgive yourself, and, from now on, try to never again put yourself in a situation where you could be impeached. It just seems to me like you set yourself up for this by not taking any of the appropriate precautions to protect yourself, Donald. You have to always be vigilant.” 🥃

I’m trying to be the most relentless satirist of Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and the MAGA movement on the Internet, so if you like my graffiti news comedy here’s a 50% discount on paid subscriptions to help support me, for just $2.50 a month, tirelessly mock Trump’s fascism with comedy.

☕ Enjoy my graffiti news comedy and political commentary? Buy me a coffee!

But first subscribe to my free Substack The Halfway Café to get my work delivered right to your inbox. In this second Trump Era of surrealist governance, nothing is more important than comedy, so consider becoming a paid member to help support me tirelessly mocking Trump and his MAGA movement.

Because our social media platforms are being scrambled up by oligarchs, if you like my humor, diversify where you follow me so you never miss my jokes to interrupt your doomscrolling: Twitter, Bluesky, Threads, Facebook, Instagram, Spoutible, Medium, and Substack.

If you think Donald Trump is a joke, I published the book for you: “Satire In The Trump Years: The Best Of The Halfway Post,” available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon. I’ve also published three existentialist poetry books for Millennials, Cabaret No Stare, Moon Goon, and Hotel Golden Hours available in print and on Kindle.

Browse my comedy portfolio, my Dada News portfolio, and my poetry portfolio.