WASHINGTON—Kneeling beside him as he softly stirred, an aide reportedly told President Joe Biden on Thursday that he had won the election and then gently closed his eyes. “It’s okay, Mr. President—all is well in the world, thanks to you,” the White House staffer said as she attempted to fold the…
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Former President Donald Trump survived a shocking attempt on his life at a Pennsylvania campaign rally, sustaining only minor injuries. The Onion takes a look back on the history of assassinations and attempted assassinations in the United States.Read more…>read more at © The Onion…
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CHICAGO—Suggesting the venue could provide the friendship and intimacy the man had lacked for so long, a report released Thursday found that going to a strip club might be exactly what isolated 33-year-old Luke Walters needs. “When you think about it, making an inaugural visit to somewhere like the Admiral Theatre…
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Donald Trump selected Ohio senator and Hillbilly Elegy author J.D. Vance to be his 2024 vice presidential running mate, choosing a 39-year-old loyalist with celebrity status among conservatives. What do you think?Read more…>read more at © The Onion…
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