MONTPELIER, VT—Making the announcement from the steps of the powerful organization’s national headquarters, the Federated Union of Bear Cub Carcass Dumpers endorsed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for president on Monday. “The Federated Union of Bear Cub Carcass Dumpers stands 100% behind Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the only…Read more…>read more at ©…
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BUTNER, NC—In their latest attempt to have the “Ignition (Remix)” singer’s 2022 conviction for child pornography overturned, attorneys for disgraced R&B star R. Kelly petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court on Monday to watch him pee. “Today we ask the court to grant review in this case so that Mr. Robert Kelly…
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Charli XCX, the artist behind the album Brat and the “brat summer” phenomenon, made headlines after endorsing presidential candidate Kamala Harris. The Onion shares what you need to know about the singer-songwriter.Read more…>read more at © The Onion…
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WASHINGTON—In a sobering report on the impact of climate change and deforestation, U.S. environmentalists warned Monday that the nation was running out of small wooded areas where a group of buddies could smoke up. “Sadly, accelerating levels of industrialization have led us to a point where our nation’s stoner…Read more…>read more…
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WICHITA FALLS, TX—Forgetting partisan battles for a moment amid laughter and shrieks of “Don’t let it bounce,” a bitterly divided U.S. populace came together Monday to keep a beach ball in the air. “As much as our differences may seem like they define us, at our core all Americans share a…
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Russia, the United States, and several other countries engaged in an extraordinary 24-prisoner exchange, the largest of its kind since the Cold War and one in which President Joe Biden was directly involved. What do you think?Read more…>read more at © The Onion…
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Former President Trump claimed Vice President Kamala Harris “became […] Black” during a panel at the National Association of Black Journalists’ annual convention, saying he didn’t know she was Black until “a number of years ago.” What do you think?Read more…>read more at © The Onion…
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